VivirLatino

I had no idea that my baby was afreed of a little snake. Ok, big snake. During an interview for Extra, Salma (who is apparently in the middle of jungle land somewhere) had a major freak out over a snake sighting. Video below.

At first I thought she was being all cute and femme, like my girl is want to do, but towards the end, you can see she’s near hysterical and sounds like she’s either in tears or close to it. Sigh–even Superman had his Kryptonite.

I know I would’a done a better job at protecting her than the whimpy dude who carried her away. I would’ve even let her cry on my shoulder. I can be very sympathetic and loving when I want to be.

My Salmita is apparently starting a new food “diet” collection–operating under the belief that your kidney’s and liver are not good enough “cleaners” of the body, her food line will act as the ultimate cleanser:

Her product, Cooler Cleanse, comes in 5 gut-busting flavors — a green juice, a grapefruit mint, a red juice with beets and apples, young coconut water, and nut milk sweetened with dates.

Salma had us at “hydraulic” — problem is … the diet will run you $58 a day.

Mmmhm. My advice to you? Eat an 50 cent orange while admiring a picture of Salma on the internet. It’s what I am doing.

When the news gets too depressing for me, I always feel like I can cruise stories about my Salmita to feel better.

Sigh.

Turns out Salma’s life is pretty darn depressing as well.

Mexican actress Salma Hayek’s billionaire husband Francois-Henri Pinault was held hostage in his car Wednesday by his staff who were angered over 1,200 job cuts at two of his stores.

Mirror online reports, Pinault, 46, the boss of retail empire PPR which owns Gucci shops, was held for an hour by 50 staff members after a meeting in Paris until freed by riot police.

Pinault, who married Hayek, 42, six weeks ago, was the fifth “boss-napping” victim in a month. The union said: “We wanted talks to save jobs.”

Now, as a firm lover of the unions, I have to say, I’m sorta snickering at this. And it, honestly, sorta cheered me up.

As a Salma lover, however, I know that this probably frightened her, and as such, I must tell the unions to cool it.

Union solidarity rocks, just don’t get in the way of my fantasizing.