Nadya Suleman Speaks Again

california-octopulets-mom-nadya-sulema-nadya-suleima-pictureDiiiiiiiios Mio. Remember the woman who gave birth to eight children after she underwent fertility treatments? Well, she’s in the news again, this time to explain why in the hell she felt it was necessary to be implanted with all eight of her embryos.

“You don’t understand,” she said. “If you have these frozen embryos that are there, and they were writing you letters saying, We are charging you this much, and it’s going up and up and up every month that they are stored — you can either use them or destroy them. You’re like, O.K., I have six already. What’s another? And maybe it won’t even work. So, I just decided to take the chance because I didn’t want to destroy the embryos. That was the main focus — not like: ‘Oh, gosh! I really want eight!’ People were thinking, ‘Oh, she wanted so, so many.’ No!”

She sounds like she’s coming from a really frightening place of Christian fundementalism (it’s a baby no matter what I must save it!) and desperate poverty. How many of us haven’t been in that same place with some other aspect in our lives? Getting those bills every single month when you know you can’t pay them, being told by a friend to “come get your shit or I’m dumping it all” when you know you have no place to bring it home to…we’ve all be there before. We’ve all done things like make eight kids share one Popsicle and lecture the kids that they should be thankful for the opportunity. We make jokes about it, but that poverty staring us in the face is very real, isn’t it?

So, I feel really bad for Suleman. But boy…I think it might be time to really question the idea of people who are adamantly pro-life getting IVF treatments. Or maybe doctors should only be allowed to fertilize two eggs at a time. Or something. I’m not really on top of how IVF treatment works–I know what I know because I’ve been told by friends who’ve gone through it how it works.

But the bottom line for me is that I just don’t think any human woman should be carrying eight fetuses at one time, even if she does so willingly. Morally and ethically, the argument simply can’t be made that it’s ok to place such stress on a woman’s body. And if people feel that they *must* place that kind of stress on their bodies because of the moral choice to not “kill a child,” then I think that the system needs to begin to find moral and ethical ways to confront those beliefs in a way that prioritizes the needs of the mother first and foremost.

Maybe Nadya Suleman is actually one of the best arguments out there for state health coverage that covers fertility treatments? Then people can afford to take the chance of only attempting one or two embryo fertilizations at a time?

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Nadya Suleman and children sign reality show contract

Nadya Suleman, dubbed “Octo-Mom” by the media, inked the deal with European TV company Eyeworks, reports say.
We all knew it was only a matter of time before this happened. People were predicting it from the moment the news hit that a woman gave birth to eight children.

And here we are, not even a year later and it’s been done. Nadya Suleman has done the deed. She signed a contract for a reality show.

via the BBC News:

Contracts filed with a Los Angeles court say the children will earn the money over a three-year period.

Filming is scheduled to begin on 1 September, but a judge must first approve the contracts.

Film crews will not follow Suleman and her children 24 hours a day, but will document certain milestones, such as birthdays and special events, her lawyer said earlier.

The court documents say Suleman’s children, who are up to eight years old, will collectively earn $125,000 for 36 days of shooting in the first year of production, $75,000 for 21 days in the second year, and $50,000 for 14 days in the third year.

Thankfully, this seems to be off the radar of U.S. news (what with Michael Jackson’s autopsy results coming soon and Sarah Palin quitting, who can blame them?). Otherwise, I’m sure we’d be treated to a whole slew of commentary about how selfish and irresponsible the “octo-mom” truly is. As it is, I wish the woman luck, and hope her children do well–but good goddamn. How I wish she would get married to an independently wealthy person who kept her out of the news for my lifetime.

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Single moms=”broken”?

madonna No, I’m not the biggest fan in the world of white celebrities adopting brown babies from across the world. I think it’s shady on so many levels–and what the hell is wrong with foster care? They are some of the few people who actually have the resources and time to make it all the way through a foster adoption, it doesn’t make sense to me why they feel they need to go outside of their own countries to adopt.

Having said that, I read about Madonna’s attempts to adopt again with interest. Apparently, her newly single status is causing problems for her:

Madonna’s trying to adopt another baby, a little girl named Mercy, from Malawi, but may have a tougher time without Guy Ritchie at her side. “Our official policy is that we do not encourage our children to be sent into broken homes,” a senior official from Malawi’s Ministry of Women and Child Welfare Development said. “Her relationships may negatively affect the adoption of Mercy.”

And of course the LA Times blurb follows up with a swipe at single mother Nadya Suleman.

What about going after one of Nadya Suleman’s little ones?

It’s interesting how this small blurb juxtaposes so much of U.S. cultures biases against single mothers. Single mothers are always suspect and wrong, but some single mothers invoke sympathy in their “wrongness” and others don’t. It’s interesting how the single mother’s that invoke sympathy are invariably well-off and white.

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Jueves Jodienda : Can We Please Leave Nadya Suleman Alone?

california-octopulets-mom-nadya-sulema-nadya-suleima-pictureMarch is Women’s History Month. In a few days International Working Women’s Day will be celebrated and yet this morning what do I see in my news feed? More demonization of Nadya Suleman, this time painting her as the stereotype criminal/negligent mother.

As a mother of two children, I have had moments of lost children and kids locking themselves in rooms (in fact this just happened to me the other night). I know the frantic desperation these moments can invoke in moms and yet every single moment of Nadya Suleman’s life in the mami’hood is under a microscope. I write mami’hood instead of mommyhood because Suleman isn’t being afforded the benefit of the doubt, the idea that mothering is hard work, especially if you are the mother of multiple children, are poor, and/or are a mother of color. Our experiences are ghettoized, othered, seen as aberrations of what “real motherhood” should look/be like.

Octuplet mother Nadya Suleman became unhinged with fear last year when she thought she had lost one of her children, repeatedly telling an emergency dispatcher, “Oh God, I’m going to kill myself,” according to a recording of her 911 call released Wednesday by police.

Police and the Los Angeles County Department of Child and Family Services visited Suleman’s home in July in response to a complaint that the children appeared poorly cared for, but both agencies determined the complaint was unfounded.

Suleman, in an interview with RadarOnline.com, said the neighbor who alerted police was unhappy because her family was loud and she allowed her children to play in the mud.

Police also once visited the home to let a child out of a locked bedroom.

The mass media with their hysteria making (beware of the single poor mami!!!) fails to make any analysis of how law enforcement and social service agencies have historically been used against families of color, have taken children away without real reason.

Oh no, she let her children play in the mud!!!

Yeah let’s worry about that instead of how she and so many other mothers will feed their children, clothe their children, get healthcare for their children, house their children. These are things I, a single mami of two worry about and millions of other mami’s worry about. Pero look, over there, it’s Angelina Jolie. Move along, nothing to see here.

Via / HuffPo

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Dr. Phil is a Turd in my Toilet Bowl

This Nadya Suleman story just won’t go away.

The latest news is that Dr. Phil felt the need to bully Suleman until she finally admitted on national television that it was a mistake to have her very much alive children (who will one day get to witness said admission, hooray!).


The thing that cracks me up here (in an ironic sarcastic way), is that as somebody who was mildly interested when those sextuplets were born years ago (the ones that Diane Sawyer kept interviewing), I know that that family *also* was counting on the resources friends, family, and neighbors/community members were willing to provide. I remember that they started off living in a small house and only finally moved to a bigger house because corporate sponsors provided them with one. And I have yet to see *any* of the houses of these families (including the oh so on top of it Duggar family) that don’t look like train wrecks.

So why are all these things (messy houses, lack of resources, getting help from friends and family) so cute and wonderful when it’s other families and so horrible and terrifying when it’s Nadya Suleman?

And why does Dr. Phil think it’s his right to act as representative of the U.S. when interrogating Suleman’s choices?

I know a lot of people will point to the fact that Suleman has 14 children and seems economically unready to handle them–but I have to say, as a mother of two, it makes nary a difference if you are living on welfare/student loans with 2 children or with 50. When you don’t have money–you simply don’t have money. You can’t get “more” broke than broke, right? So is it *really* an issue how many children she has?

Or is it more just a fact that like *all* single mothers, Suleman seems to be flouncing in the face of the world that heterosexual relationships are simply unnecessary to have and raise children? Or like all mothers of color, Suleman keeps bringing all these little brown babies into the world like they have a right to be here? Or like all women who may have mental health issues, Suleman is continuing to live life as if she has a right to live life, even though people with mental health issues are supposed to be locked up with the key thrown away? Or does it just piss the poor Dr. Phils amongst us off to no end that women can (ARGH NO) get *rich* off of having kids? Rather than working our big white butts to the bone like Dr. Phil so clearly has?

If we get over the fact that she has 14 children (so the hell what), we can start to uncover some truly disturbing trends in how U.S. culture treats women and mothers specifically. Will we be brave enough to do that?

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Most Hated on Mami is Latina? (or Not)

3262704953_7e7c9849f2_m.jpgWhen Nadya Suleman gave birth to eight babies, everyone went awww. When people found out she already had 6 kids, bringing her children up to 14, people went ay! And since then, everyone wants her to be anything but white porque as pointed out by this post on Racialicious, white mamis with many many kids get movies and tv shows. Non-white mamis get hated on and accused of being on welfare and a burden, even if there is no proof that she actually is a burden. People respond by yelling “Don’t giver her free diapers!” , as if to say, “she needs to be punished”.

Then people look closer. Suleman. what kind of a name is that? It sure as hell ain’t Smith, or Gosselin, or Michelle and Jim Bob Duggers. So people have to make her something other than “us”. So they make her “them” as in me, as in Latina.

You know Latinas with their loose sexual morals and high birth rates and secret plans to reconquer the tierra with babies and then Suleman isn’t married. Why don’t Latinas get married to their babies’ daddies or in this case sperm donors cuz yes, that would make it all ok, right?

Except Suleman isn’t Latina.

Nadya’s father is Iraqi and her mother Ukrainian.

And now to add the horror. Suleman receives Food Stamps. ::Gasp::.

Hell I only have two kids and food stamps help, alot.

Go ahead and comment now. I’m ready to start banning stupid people.

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