In many ways, I really feel for Jessica Alba. I mean–really feel for her. She’s said some fucked up shit about being Mexican (remember the “spreading their seed” comment?). But–I think at the root of a lot of her fucked up comments is an extreme insecurity and anxiety about being Latina and being Mexican that I understand completely.

I don’t know about other Latin@ cultures–but as a Chicana (or Mexican-American, Hispanic, etc), I’ve found living life as somebody with immigrant Mexican roots can be incredibly difficult. All the markers the Mexican community uses to “identify” you as “one of us” are so unstable. In a settled community, you can be tall and light skinned and even unable to speak Spanish and still be considered a part of the community. In a more transient community with more first generation Mexicans–speaking Spanish often stands as the “test.” If you can’t do it, you’ve assimilated and have no claims or rights to the community no matter what your experiences are.

So–in a way, I really get what Alba’s getting at when she says, “I’m considered Latina and, thus, I consider myself Latina as well. I grew up eating enchiladas… I identify with Mexicans. It’s in my blood whether or not I speak Spanish.”

Not exactly the most elegant thing to say in the world. As Feminist Texican notes: Head. Meet Desk.

But at the same time, I still feel for Alba. I mean, it took me going to university and doing tons of reading of Chicana feminist texts to be able to 1. comfortably claim a Chicana identity and 2. use the appropriate words to talk about how unstable and anxiety provoking a Chicana identity often is.

It doesn’t sound like Alba has been to college or that her family really spends a lot of time speaking about and negotiating a Mexican-American identity in a non-assimilationist way. We aren’t just born with the knowledge of how to “be” politicized and fierce Chicanas, right? And most of us don’t have to struggle through our politics–or the politics that play out on our bodies (what does your dark hair mean? Your olive skin tone? Your unaccented tongue? etc)–on a public stage.

I know Alba is political in other ways (namely, she’s an animal rights activist). Which makes me think that she is capable of “hearing” a more radical politic when she wants to. And I know how difficult it is to actually find Chicana theory–you have to know what a Chicana is first (again, something I didn’t know until university)–how do you google something you don’t even know? So I volunteer as the most appropriate macha to talk to Ms. Alba. I will pass her a book by Gloria Anzaldua. And then sit and talk with her for a while.

I’ll make a radical Chicana out of her yet.