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This Memorial Day, Don’t Pee (or Poo) in the Pool

2:33 pm By Jennifer Woodard Maderazo · Bizarro| Health| holidays · Comments Off

24 May 2009

191206078_6fadcf524a As many of you are out are probably out in the sun, enjoying the weather this Memorial Day weekend, you might be anticipating taking a dip in your neighborhood pool. That’s great, but just try not to pee in it. I know, I know, most of us — if we are honest — would admit that we’ve had the occasion to relieve ourselves of a little chis in a swimming pool once or twice in our lives. I mean, what’s the harm, right? What fellow swimmers don’t know won’t hurt them, correct? That’s not what the CDC says:

When swimmers sweat or urinate in the pool water, the bodily fluids combine with the chlorine. It creates chloramines, which causes the strange odor and the eye and respiratory irritations for swimmers, according to the CDC.

No matter how discreet the act may be, “you’re contaminating the pool. Let’s face it,” said Linda Golodner, the vice chairwoman of the Water Quality and Health Council.

The survey released by Golodner’s group, which advises the American Chemistry Council, found that 11 percent of the surveyed adults said they have swum with a runny nose, 7 percent with an exposed rash or cut and 1 percent when ill with diarrhea. The margin of error was plus or minus 3.1 percentage points.

But if you think pee in your pool is bad enough, think again. When it comes to people very getting sick from swimming, the real culprit is that last thing they mentioned: diarrhea. Yes, diarrhea in the pool.

The most common recreational water illness is spread through diarrhea. One of the most persistent problems is Cryptosporidium, a parasite that causes diarrhea and can be found in infected stools.

“With Crypto, if you have diarrhea, it’s very watery,” Hlavsa said. “It’s not a formed stool sitting in the pool or floating on top. It could be very watery, and no one [in a pool] would know.”

So this Memorial Day weekend, eat, drink, be merry and swim! But don’t count on me joining you.

Via / CNN

Image via t_a_i_s on Flickr

Texas National Border

9:31 am By la Macha · Bizarro| U.S.-Mexico Border · Comments Off

20 May 2009

texas-wall-map-redo Found via facebook, this link to the Onion provides insight on the plans by Texas to secede from the Union.

The final section of the barricade, a reinforced concrete enclosure containing the city of Austin, will be finished by August 2009.

“These Americans are destroying the moral and social fabric of our state,” said Rep. Chris Turner, who added that he worries when he looks around Texas and sees people from places like Pennsylvania, Iowa, and Vermont. “The man who used to repair my truck was replaced by some mechanic who moved in here from Kansas. Lately I can’t go to the store or the bank without running into all kinds of these foreigners. This wall is the only hope we have of keeping Texas safe.”

“The truth is, Americans are just different from us,” Turner added. “We don’t even speak the same language.”

According to Texas Army National Guard Brig. Gen. Tom Alford, Americans will only be permitted to cross the border if they have immediate family living in Texas, in which case they can apply for a 90-minute monitored visitation to be held inside a checkpoint detention facility.

Yes, this is a joke, it’s from the Onion, folks. But it is interesting to think about, no? The idea that it could be U.S. citizens that were repellent and worth keeping out?

Republican Congresswoman Links Swine Flu to Democrats

29 Apr 2009

Too bad she’s all wrong. This is so pathetic it’s embarrassing:

Grasp at many straws lately? Come on, guys, this is really starting to get sad!

Via / The Huffington Post

Teabagging the U.S. Government

9:04 am By la Macha · Bizarro| Celebrities| Media · Comments Off

10 Apr 2009

Any really good properly dirty minded queer knows what teabagging is. Which is why I was pleased to see that Rachel Maddow got on her mocking shoes last night and delved in to the morass of old white men and proceeded to mock with all the innuendos at her power.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

It’s like sex for me. I do feel better about the morass of old white men, I really really do.

Morning Bizarro: Billy Bob Thornton Goes Off (or IS off)

11:43 am By Jennifer Woodard Maderazo · Bizarro| Celebrities| Internet| Music| Twitter · Comments Off

9 Apr 2009

The Twitter is buzzing this morning over a video of actor Billy Bob Thornton being interviewed about his musical career. Sounds pretty normal up until there, but the video is worth far more than any description I might be able to provide. Check it out (warning, this is extremely painful to watch):

My gut says this is a prank. Your thoughts? Is this just another Joaquin Phoenix-esque publicity stunt or is Billy Bob off his rocker?

Via / QTV on YouTube

Mexican Mummies on Tour in the U.S.

8:54 am By Jennifer Woodard Maderazo · Bizarro| Events| history| mexico| society · 3 Comments

3 Apr 2009

One of the craziest things I ever laid eyes on in Mexico (and that’s saying a lot) was the momias de Guanajuato: the Guanajuato mummies. Ancient Mexican civilizations didn’t practice mummification of their dead; these mummies are allegedly the exhumed bodies of once-buried deceased people whose families couldn’t pay to maintain their graves and were taken out to make room for dead people who could at a time in the 19th century when cholera was doing away with the population. Other sources say that when cholera was plaguing the region, dying — not dead – sufferers were buried in an effort to stop the spread of the disease, which explains the horribly agonized faces of the bodies who were literally buried alive.

Sound attractive? Well you’re in luck, as you won’t have to travel to Guanajuato to see them…the mummies are coming to a city near you!

A group of 60 Guanajuato mummies will kick off a tour of 10 American states, generating income of more than 6 million dollars for the country in the 3 years the exhibit will last [...]

The tour will start at the Detroit Science Center and continue on to the cities of Minneapolis, Denver, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago and Orlando, whose museams have up to 10,500,000 visitors per year.

Organizers of the traveling show, to be called “The Accidental Mummies”, say that this isn’t “a circus show” but a way to teach Americans about Guanajuato’s history and traditions. Milenio reports that over $600,000 is being spent in marketing the event and in hiring FBI artists to recreate busts of how the mummies must have looked when they were alive.

Via / Milenio

Video via pedroultreras on YouTube

I love Glen Beck’s sanity…and I fear for it

2:52 pm By la Macha · Bizarro| Entertainment| society · 2 Comments

1 Apr 2009

I don’t know about you all, but I’m ready to celebrate me some 10.31. Thank god for the Colbert/Stewart team.

The Colbert Report

Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The 10/31 Project

comedycentral.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

NASA Name Contest

Suavemente: Elvis Crespo Touches Himself, is Interrogated by FBI

26 Mar 2009

The headline says it all, and it really can’t get much better than this, folks. AP reports on the “little” incident:

Merengue star Elvis Crespo is being investigated after a woman said she saw him masturbating on an airplane en route from Houston to Miami.

According to a Miami-Dade County police report, the Grammy winner was doing it in view of other passengers on a flight last week. That prompted the plane’s captain to radio Miami International Airport.

Officers interviewed the Puerto Rican singer upon his arrival but did not arrest him. No charges have been filed, but an investigation continues.

When asked by police about the incident, Crespo said: “I don’t recall doing that.”

His publicist did not immediately return a message left Wednesday by The Associated Press.

You can’t blame Elvis. Pobrecito can’t get press to save his life, so he had no other choice than to resort to touching himself on a plane. And getting interrogated by the FBI? Priceless.

Via / AP

Conservative Commentator: “There’s Trash in the White House”

24 Mar 2009

What would we do without Media Matters, the organization that monitors the disgusting right wing slant we are subjected to — in varying degrees — in mainstream media? Well, we might have actually consume this trash in order to find little gems such as this one. In this asinine rant with absolutely no substance to speak of, conservative commentator (and “ex-liberal Democrat”) Tammy Bruce sounds off with outrage about nothing after listening to a benign quote made by Michelle Obama. Have a listen:

Huh? How is what she said outrageous? Let’s look at the transcript:

BRUCE: But here’s Michelle Obama explaining to some kids what it was like for her growing up because she sounded like a white person, whatever that means.

OBAMA [audio clip]: I did do my best, getting good grades was always important to me, and it wasn’t because my parents were -

BRUCE: It’s all about her.

OBAMA [audio clip]: — hounding me or that they had the expectation, it was just something that I wanted for myself. I wanted an A. And I didn’t care whether it was cool, ‘cause I remember there were kids around my neighborhood who would say, “Ooh, you talk funny, you talk like a white girl.” I heard that growing up my whole life, and I was like I don’t even know what that means, but you know what? I’m still getting my A.

BRUCE: What? What? What — what is that? And then she devolves into that weird fake accent, like Hillary did when talking to black people. What? What is that? That’s, that — you know what that is.

DAVID AFTER DENTIST [audio clip]: Is this going to be forever?

BRUCE: Yeah, that – remember nitrous oxide kid, on You Tube. No it’s not going to be forever, nitrous oxide kid. It’s not. Can you — can you believe that?

OBAMA [audio clip]: So do I need to introduce myself?

BRUCE: What a shame. That must’ve just ruined her damn day. “I wanted the A for myself, and I wanted to do it, and ooh, they said you sounded like a white person, I don’t know what that means, but uhh.” Huh?

Man, oh, man. That’s who he’s married to, what does that tell you? This is what we’ve got — you know what we’ve got? We’ve got trash in the White House. Trash is a, is a thing that is color blind, it can cross all eco — ecosocionomic kind of categories, you can work on Wall Street or work at the Wal-Mart. Trash are people who use other people to get things, who patronize others, who consider you bitter and clingy.

Has Bruce been hitting the crazy juice? Michelle and Barack Obama are “trash” and the comment made by Michelle Obama is supposed to be evidence for this?

“People who consider you bitter and clingy…”? WTF? Sounds like a personal problem to me. Is this lady projecting her feelings towards her ex-BF onto the Obamas?

My diagnosis: mental problem mixed with deep-seated racism and a dab of grasping at straws. What do you think?

Via / Media Matters