Immigration is rarely talked about within the context of queerness. But people who are queer have a much harder time in a corrupt screwed up system than others do–and the reason why is because of the Catch-22 of “family sponsorship.” Take this case of lesbian couple Jay Mercado and Shirley Tan.

Tan applied for political asylum in 1995, and thought her case was still pending, until immigration officials knocked on her door this past January. She said her former lawyer never told her a deportation order was issued in 2002. Her bid for asylum failed because the threat to her life in the Philippines came from a relative — who shot her in the head when she was young over an inheritance battle — instead of from the government.

So after living here in the U.S. for 23 years, having family, forming a new life–Tan was scheduled to be deported to a country where she had suffered extreme violence. She can not get sponsored by her partner, who is a U.S. citizen–because her partner is a woman.

Unlike straight Americans, Mercado cannot sponsor her partner of 23 years for immigration. The Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) would remedy this discrimination against gay and lesbian Americans and allow them to sponsor their partners for immigration. The bill, introduced by Sen. Patrick Leahy in the Senate and Rep. Jerrold Nadler in the House, has 110 cosponsors in Congress.

“Until the UAFA passes, families like Jay and Shirley’s are at terrible risk,” said Immigration Equality Executive Director Rachel B. Tiven. “We are hopeful their members of Congress will introduce a private bill that would spare their twin boys and the boys’ grandmother from having the country they love tear their family apart.”

Senators Barbara Boxer (D-CA) and Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and Representative Jackie Speier (D-CA-12) represent Shirley and Jay in Congress. Boxer and Speier cosponsored the Uniting American Families Act.

“Shirley Tan’s unacceptable situation is just one example of why Congress must pass immigration equality legislation. The Uniting American Families Act, which I co-sponsored, will allow lesbian and gay Americans to sponsor their permanent partners for residency in the United States,” Speier said.

Across the country, 37,000 couples face similar circumstances.

I’ve asked this many times, but I’ll ask it again. Why does the government get to decide what a “real” family is? By insisting that immigration into the U.S. must be based on family sponsorship, and then deciding what kind of family can actually do sponsering, isn’t that what the government is doing?

Also, is my citizenship really the only thing that grants me the right to exist in the U.S. *and* be queer?

Why does the government get to have that amount of control? I’m really very glad that it looks like at the very least a law will soon be passed that recognizes queer families as real families too–but can we all admit that there is something deeply flawed about a system that would even *consider* separating a committed family of 23 years based on the gender make up of the family?