I have strong feelings about voting, and those aren’t always easy feelings. Raised in a family that always votes (and always Democrat- my dad even had a failed run for Congress once), and politicized by a Young Lord who also ran voter registration campaigns, voting has always been a complex issue. As a New York born and Rican with family who can’t vote because of their current or past criminal record or by virtue of living in a U.S. colony, it’s not a decision I take lightly.

As I went to vote, I struck up conversations with the people in my hood who can’t vote. My community is an immigrant community. The parents of many of my daughter’s schoolmates, my neighbors, the shop owners, are undocumented and they all asked me if I was voting. As I waited online for my bagel after voting, I spoke with day laborers asking what the scene at the polls was like. My vote today was more than my individual vote, it was for My tios, tias, y Abuela Lila who are in Puerto Rico now and for those who work here, put money into the U.S. economy and don’t have a say in who makes the laws and carries out foreign policy.

The polls were more crowded than usual in my hood but the wait wasn’t long. The whole process took 10 minutes and that seemed to be average. I arrived to find one voting machine broken and more than one person filling out provisional ballots. Most of those filling out provisional ballots were people of color.

I’ve registered voters, trained people to register voters, and even worked with street organizations aka gangs to register and get out the vote. I’ve checked polling sites for amigos and struggled to get an emergency absentee ballot for my dear tia/madrina who suddenly finds herself in the hospital fighting for her life.

I stood inside the voting booth this morning with my 11 year old and debated with myself outloud if I should vote for the woman of color, third party ticket of McKinney/Clemente or Obama. I live in a “safe” state after all.

So yeah, I’ve invested myself somewhat in this system that I do not wholeheartedly believe in.

See, I’m no U.S. patriot. In fact as a born U.S. citizen, I view the U.S. as a dangerous entity. It’s a nation that invaded my country so many years ago and continues to occupy it. It’s a country that sterilized women I know and love, and that killed or tortured people I admire. It’s a country many family members of mine have fought for and are still fighting for (much love to you prima Alexis).

Pero it’s a weapon. I’ve said it more than once. Today is neither the beginning nor the end. It is the continuation of struggle on many levels.

What does your vote / non vote mean to you?

Image Via / The Unapologetic Mexican